Now, if I were coaching someone else I'd probably have stopped here to honor the feelings of powerlessness and frustration and let them be felt, but i'm a human and so I was like FUCK IT LET'S JUST POWER THROUUUUUGH!"

I was journaling this morning on a prompt about designing your ideal daily schedule.

Normally this kind of thing would be fun for me! I love to daydream about cozy mornings drinking coffee on the porch.

But I found myself procrastinating and making excuses.

I would start writing, put down my pen, and then start scrolling through instagram or facebook.

I know myself well enough to know that when I do that, there's something in me feeling resistance to the task.

So I asked myself "why don't i want to do this?"

Here's the answer I got:

'"There's no point in writing out my ideal day because it WILL NEVER HAPPEN!"

Ok. Why won't it ever happen?

"Because I have no control over my schedule right now because we're living with my mom and I can't ......"

OOOOhhhhh.

Ok. Now I have some juicy things to explore.

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I'm going to walk you through EXACTLY what I did next, which is use one of my favorite coaching tools: The Thought Model*

Circumstance (C): I am living with my parents

This is a fact. I am in fact currently residing, with my son, my husband, and our two dogs in my sister's childhood bedroom.

Thought (T): "I have no control over my schedule right now"

This is not a fact. It's a thought. It might be true, but also it might not. There's room to play.

Feelings(F): Angry, resentful, powerless, frustrated

These are the feelings I'm feeling now that are triggered by the thought. The feelings are ALWAYS TRUE. Feelings just are. They can be felt or ignored, but they are there either way.

Action (A): What do I do when I feel these feelings and think these thoughts? Right now I've been stopping myself from asking for help, letting other peoples' preferences dictate my behaviors and choices, and trying to squeeze all my needs and wants into as small a space as possible.

Result (R): I get exhausted.

I end up spending most of my time on childcare, with maybe 2 hours a day (on a good day) to dedicate to my own self-care AND my business AND my part time job. This obviously is not particularly helpful.

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What we just did was an Unintentional Thought Model - it's an analysis of what I'm thinking and doing right now, just by running on autopilot.

It helps to know what is going on.

(Side note: I've noticed that this is where therapy often stops. You analyze and figure out what's going on, and then you say "cool!" and pat yourself on the back for being so self-aware. But I'm a coach, so I don't stop there!)

Next we're going to do an Intentional Thought Model.

We can't change the circumstances, (not immediately, anyway) but we CAN change just about everything else.

C: I am living with my parents

R: I have a schedule that allows me to work and take care of myself

Notice how i'm skipping around here! I'm going to try to reverse engineer what I want to happen, so I'm going to start at the end.

Now what Thoughts might help me get there?

How about...

T: It's not selfish of me to want to do my job and take care of myself. I have just as much of a right to be my full self in my parents' home as I do anywhere else.

And when I think those thoughts I feel...

F: determined, righteous, and optimistic.

yeah, those feelings are much better than the ones I'm feeling currently.

Next: Actions!

What do I imagine I might do when I feel this way, versus what I've been doing?

A: start a group text of people who might babysit and message them on Friday to set up care for the next week. Give my son lots of extra screen time and let him watch movies in his room for two hours. Bring my laptop to play dates or to the library with him and do my work while he plays.

Here's what I'll do next:

Those intentional thoughts will become my mantras and affirmations. I'll write them down and post them where I can't help but see them.

I'll repeat them several times a day.

I'll set alarms and reminders to make sure I'm taking time to think them.

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I'll start to check off some of the actions, from a place of alignment and confidence.

Then I'll pay attention and notice what changes.

Voila! Life gets better.

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Thought models are just one of the many tools I use with my coaching clients to help them reclaim control over their lives, especially when it feels impossible to do so!

I'd love to hear if this is a new tool for you, and if you'd like to learn more about it! i use it on myself all the time and I LOVE it. Do you think it's something you would try?

*I did not make up Thought Models. I learned this one from my teacher and coach Simone Seol, who learned it from her teacher/coach Brooke Castillo. I also use several other templates from other teachers depending on which one feels right and easy in the moment.

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See you soon!

<3 Megan

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P.S. - If you're ready to start doing the work to re-center your SELF in your own life, and rid yourself of people-pleasing habits once and for all, it's time to sign up for Good Girl Deprogramming. This coaching process will reconnect you with your intuition, and help supercharge your confidence so you can live a life that feels like you! I've got 3 spots left for the rest of this year. Is one yours